Treason husband: what to do and how to behave in this situation
It is not easy to reconcile with the betrayal of her husband, so many women leave the family unable to continue to live with a traitor. But is it worth “cutting off the shoulder”, because not only your personal relationship with him is affected, but the whole family: first of all, children who come under the blow first of all, your relatives, and already established close and warm relations and communication.
Let us try to understand this situation from all sides and understand whether it is really necessary to break off relations with a traitor, and whether there are mechanisms for alleviating the situation and reconciling close people.
Treason husband: forgiveness or care
First of all, psychologists advise not to get excited. In this situation, it will take a lot of patience and willpower so as not to “chop wood”.
It is very difficult to believe that a loved one has changed you. It turns out that you lived with a traitor, perhaps there were facts of treason before this incident, but you did not know about that! What to do when life collapses before our eyes.
Try to approach this issue philosophically: “Yes, I did, but life did not stop, everyone remained alive, the children are healthy, the roof of the house has not collapsed, and life continues to flow in its own way!
Need to learn how to take a punch. Think, because he is in principle, not a bad husband, a caring father, well, this dirty trick burst into your life, in the form of an alien woman. If you want to save the expensive that you have created by the two for all the years you have lived together, there can be only one advice: take this dirty trick and throw it in the trash.
Men often lose their thoughts about “going to the roof” from the attention of people with certain behaviors, but how can you compare your high family relationships with fleeting flirtation and betrayal. Keep yourself in hand, in this situation, self-control is your trump card.
It makes no sense to compare yourself with her, or look out for his phones, follow him or inquire about a rival, which, in fact, she cannot appear. All these manipulations and actions are devoid of any meaning, they only put you in a humiliating position and make life unbearable.
You do not even help a divorce, if you firmly decided to do it. The pain will not subside so soon, only time will be able to ease it, so is it worth aggravating the situation with the divorce process, which will only be in the hands of the rival.
Of course, it is necessary to talk with an insidious traitor, and demand from him the immediate cessation of outside relations. Often men are very worried about the facts of treason and try to rectify the situation with all their might.
If this is the case, psychologists do not advise you to reproach him and make trouble for no reason, it will only separate you, move you further away from each other, and it is possible that after sympathy he will rush into the same embrace.
It is worth reconsidering your family relationships without scandals and mutual reproaches, especially if you have children growing up. And although they say that a broken cup can not be glued together, it’s worth a try. There is a long and eventful life ahead, so it’s definitely not worth breaking off relations at the very beginning of this development.
Try to distribute family responsibilities, diversify your intimate life, drop everything and take a joint vacation, change the situation, it often helps to improve relations between the spouses. Try not to shy away from intimacy if your husband needs it.
If the spouse after a serious conversation made you understand that he is not going to tear his relationship with his mistress, then you need to change tactics. In this case, it is worth to give a hint about a divorce, but not in the form of blackmail or a game, but seriously. If he realizes that you are not joking and intend to bring the matter to the end, if he does not break with his rival, he can choose a family and go to the world, to the detriment of extramarital affairs.
Every man acts in this situation differently and depending on how much he values his family. But do not allow him to doubt for a long time at this moment, because from the opposite side there will also be a “treatment”.
The main thing in this situation is to keep your head sober and cold. Do not allow yourself reckless acts, it only alienates the husband from you.
Do not run after him on dates, do not make scenes of jealousy and do not beat the opponent. All these unseemly deeds can put you in the most negative light, although they will cause sympathy from others: «Why, because she is fighting for her husband.» That’s just better to fight with other methods, remove emotions, and continue to live, as if nothing had happened.
Such behavior can sober up the husband and think about their behavior.
Some tips that will soften the situation
Remember that your husband and the idea of him are different things. We often invent ourselves a “hero of our novel,” and then we understand that reality fundamentally disagrees with our imagination.
After this, it starts breaking itself or him, depending on the strength of the characters.
Do not take her husband as part of the family or home interior, if you define such a role for him, he will look for a place in which he can express himself in some other capacity. Give him the most important role: spouse, friend, lover, father of the family.
Remember that when you marry, you unite with a person who does not belong to you from this moment to the end of days. This is a living person with his ambitions, desires, dreams and the right to make mistakes.
You do not get it for life use.
At detection of change from the husband it is necessary to keep prudence and sobriety of mind. You should determine your future behavior and develop a certain tactic. Your solution may be several:
- Break with him forever, divorce not slowly and forget about this nightmare.
- I will forgive, since I would not want to part with him for anything, I will try to return everything as it was.
- They can not forgive, and I will not part, but I will revenge cruelly for treason.
- I will not allow my mistress to gain the upper hand over himself, so I will stay with him in spite of her.
- I will reconsider the past years, I will try to determine what was wrong. What I missed, what was wrong, I understand and try to cope with the situation.
Any of the options may have the right to life, but remember, once having destroyed a relationship, it will be extremely difficult to resume them. The thirst for revenge has not yet deduced anyone of their state of depression, even revenge, the pain did not go away, but only aggravated. The perfect evil returned with triple strength.
Think better about yourself, about your life, about its continuation, about how to quickly get out of these circles of hell.
Try to be above the situation, above this woman who stole your faith in happiness. It will be extremely difficult, but so you can manage your behavior and emotions.
After the “black bar” is over, you will be confident in your own abilities, in the ability to control your own behavior and control it in difficult situations.
After you have made the final decision to stay in the tank with the wrong spouse, you need to forgive him completely and finally. Do not make him regret that he stayed and did not go to his mistress.
He will see your nobility, your feat, to which you went to save the family, to restore it.
Focus on yourself beloved, spend more time on your health. It is a well-known fact that many women begin to suffer from female illnesses just after suffering treason and humiliation.
Do not let the insult take over you, be attractive and healthy as before. Go to the theaters, to the gym, hiking, travel, tell a full life, driving away the dark thoughts.
And another very important piece of advice: regardless of whether you decide to leave or unite, remain human and try to maintain friendly relations. Be modern and advanced people, do not stoop to the level of primitives.
It will also help relive stress and maintain respect for each other.
Advice to husbands
- Nature created women a little differently, for them the spiritual strings play a primary role, so for them physical closeness means a little more than regular exercise. Vibrations of the strings can hurt you very much if they are caused by uncleanliness of your behavior.
- Do not play the game “I love you” with women if you are not sure that you want to get married with her for the rest of your life.
- If you have relations on the side, do not dedicate a mistress to your family’s affairs, she doesn’t need to know about the details of your intimacy with your wife or the successes of children. Your relationship with her is a different order of things and a different niche of life. Do not mix «flies» with «cutlets». Minimum information is an immutable law.
- Once having destroyed your own family, there is no guarantee that in the future you will not expect the repetition of the same. We must be able to love loved ones and appreciate what has been created over the years.
- Once you have found a mistress — this does not mean that you have found a soul mate, perhaps it is the “fiend of hell”, the connection with which will radically change your life for the worse and will entail a number of negative events. Women are treacherous people when it comes to fighting for a lover.
- Treason of a husband is for women a “low blow”, which can permanently discompose and complete life.
- You can not go on about the overwhelming emotions, you need to pull yourself together and understand the future path, further desires that should not go to the detriment of the family.
- Defeating a mistress can only be the external attractiveness, peace of mind and attention to her husband, other ways lead to «nowhere.»
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