How can a woman overcome a crisis of 30 years: advice from psychologists
Have you ever thought about a crisis of 30 years? I did not, until I felt its effect on myself.
Intuitively, I was looking for ways to alleviate my condition, and did a lot of things right, although not everything. Later, I noticed that the same problems appear with friends of my age.
Then I became interested in this topic, but more I was fascinated not by the phenomenon itself, but by the recommendations that will help to get out of this state with or without minimal losses.
Why women have a crisis in 30 years
The absolute majority of women find signs of crisis. According to statistics, 80% of women aged 28-35 suffer from it. What are the reasons for its occurrence:
- The appearance of the first signs of aging. Beauty for women is often inextricably linked with youth. Therefore, the beautiful half of humanity painfully perceives wrinkles, fat, cellulite, etc. Age changes do not fit into the established standards of beauty, their face and body are less and less like, a woman does not want to accept herself as she is.
- Not everything is smooth in personal life. At the same time, there are reasons for sadness for both single and married people. The former have a fear of being left alone forever and self-esteem falls: after all, nobody needs it, as it seems to her. If this is not the case, then girlfriends and relatives, who will poke their nose into a problem, will not give a calm life. The married people realize that everything is far from what we would like. Life is not at all like a fairy tale and “happily and happily” does not work. Constant cares, responsibility and monotony take away energy and desire to continue to live like this.
- Not happy with career achievements. Perhaps the career has faded into the background due to the birth of children, and the girl is happy with it, but she will still think about her unfulfilled plans, even if she does not want to admit to herself. In the case when success is achieved in a career, it may still seem insignificant. Or come the realization that the work itself does not bring pleasure.
At the same time, a woman constantly compares herself with others and such a comparison does not bring satisfaction, because you can always find those who have something better. A lonely friend has a good job and salary, a married one has already two children, and the former classmate in photos on social networks looks much better than her.
Such a comparison lowers self-esteem and does not allow you to enjoy life.
Often at the same time there is a re-evaluation of values and beliefs. Old ones have to be abandoned, and this sometimes hurts a lot. Their place may take frustration and negative attitude to the world.
We must try to look for positive moments in order not to slip into depression and not to remain in crisis for several years.
How to determine that a crisis has come
There are signs by which a woman can determine a crisis of 30 years in her own. Why do you need it? First, to help yourself survive it and relieve your condition.
Secondly, it will give some peace of mind, an understanding that the majority of such problems are with them, gives us confidence in the future.
- Dissatisfaction with yourself. A woman thinks more and more about how many opportunities she missed, that she did a lot not as she should have. She could not realize her potential, wasted time.
- All new problems come into view. It seems that all life now consists only of them. Everything is not so: children are capricious, the husband does not appreciate, girlfriends do not understand, at work they only try to substitute and shift all responsibilities.
- Thoughts about the approaching old age do not give rest. This is not always noticeable. Sometimes a woman just starts to hide her age, to reduce it. Birthdays do not please, but instill sadness, because it separates her from the image of a young and beautiful girl.
- There is a desire for change. It can be so strong that you want to quit, start from scratch. However, it is not necessary to take rash decisions and destroy what has been created for many years. This will lead to new problems, but will not get rid of internal confusion.
- Relations with others are becoming more strained, frustration lead to scandals, sometimes even to rupture of relations.
How to help yourself
First, try to calm down and give yourself time. Some experts do not advise to do something, and offer to wait until it passes.
It, of course, will pass, only it can drag on for several years, go into depression or lead to the destruction of relations with close people. Therefore it is necessary to do everything to alleviate your condition.
Let us analyze what you do not need:
- Take antidepressants. They will reassure you, but problems will not solve. So you risk getting hooked and in the future all the problems that arise can be solved only by medication.
- Return to youth. Non-acceptance of oneself sometimes leads to strange tricks: teenage clothes and hairstyle, the desire to get into the company of those who are much younger and adapt to their interests, communication style, etc.
- Lying about your age. This is also a consequence of the inability to accept oneself. Think about it, and better, contact a specialist.
- Burn yourself to the losers and start whining about this.
- To accept the fate and continue to lead the same life in the role of a weak-willed creature, which is not able to change anything.
This is your life and you can change it, just for now it’s not necessary. Being in this state, it is difficult for a woman to think rationally, so it is better to postpone important decisions until the crisis is over. After that, it is quite possible that you change your mind about changing something.
Now your main task is to take care of yourself, so you can quickly overcome your fears and return to a full-fledged joyful life.
What you can do for yourself:
- Reduce your responsibility. To do this, you need to scatter part of their duties among other persons. If possible, go on vacation or ask your boss and colleagues to help you. At home, you can ask for help from your husband, relatives, girlfriends.
- Engage in mood boosts. Find a new hobby or think about an old one.
- Spend time with loved ones. Take a trip to nature, take a walk together, arrange a romantic dinner.
- Take care of your appearance. Wrinkles upset you? Try a new cream, gymnastics for the face, sign up for a massage, care treatments.
- Follow the state of health. The basic needs of the body has not been canceled. Sometimes we refuse food, caring for our body if we are sad. Only this will not solve the problem, and may aggravate it. Try to eat right, do exercises, sign up for a sports center, get enough sleep — and you will feel better.
- Increase the level of hormones of happiness. The chemical composition greatly affects your condition. Endorphins can be charged in the process of sports or sex, as well as the use of certain products, such as dark chocolate.
- Strive to become better. Have a frustration with yourself? Use it as an incentive for self-improvement. Sign up for courses, learn a foreign language, learn something new. This raises self-esteem and takes the brain to useful work, rather than depressive reflections.
- Sign up for a training seminar in a group of women who have the same problem. The realization that you are not alone helps to overcome the problem period and make it more calm. If you prefer not to discuss your condition with others, contact a psychologist who will work individually with you.
- The crisis of 30 years in women is due to the appearance of the first signs of aging, problems at work and in personal life.
- You can set yourself a «diagnosis» of constant dissatisfaction with yourself, regret about missed opportunities, the appearance of obsessive thoughts about old age.
- Over time, the crisis will end, but it is better to help yourself out of this state as soon as possible.
- Take care of yourself, please yourself, watch your well-being and take your brain to work or study, then you will not have time to be sad about the past.
Guess today with the help of the tarot spread "Day map"!
For proper divination: focus on the subconscious and do not think about anything at least 1-2 minutes.