Samoedstvo — the path to nowhere
Samoedstvo, according to the interpretation of the dictionary, acts as an excessive self-criticism, a feeling of dissatisfaction for their own actions and behavior. May cause a person a lot of psychological suffering. How to cope with this unhealthy tendency?
Types of Samoyed
For the majority of people, this phenomenon is perceived as an aggregate of mental torments about itself: reproaches, dissatisfaction, fears, anxiety, lack of faith in one’s strength, inability to let go of what happened, self-accusation and self-blame.
Psychologists decipher this concept in the following way: Samoyedism is a negative self-analysis, which is accompanied by the rejection of their behavior (words, thoughts, actions).
Depending on how much a person does not love and does not accept himself, samoedism can be manifested in such forms:
- In mild form — is a kind of «game to the public.» In this case, there is a demonstration of self-criticism, for the mind, which at the same time does not cause any particular psychological discomfort. The purpose in this case is to receive pity, sympathy, consolation from the surrounding manifestations, and also to avoid punishment. Soft self-criticism is used by self-confident individuals with a low sense of responsibility.
- In a rigid form — and here the desire to spread rot is provoked by the hypertrophied responsibility. Such individuals tend to demand a lot from themselves, and therefore they harshly criticize themselves if they fail to fulfill their plans. In the second case, the Samoyeds instead of public «scenes» choose a lonely self-criticism, which is carried out without witnesses.
- In a neurotic form — when a person regularly criticizes himself for a very long time, such behavior becomes a habit for him. And even a minor excuse can trigger self-blame. People who are at this stage constantly expose themselves to harsh self-terror, even without realizing it at times.
Where does the problem grow from?
Absolutely any action, even the most negative, has a deep «positive» installation, which provokes it. So, in order to truly realize what is happening, you must learn to separate actions from intentions.
For example, when parents scold their baby for the fact that he behaves incorrectly, raise his voice or even put his hand — they perform negative actions. However, their intentions carry a good meaning in themselves — they try to teach their child, explain to him how it is possible and how not to behave.
In the case of samoyed, his positive attitude will be protection. We all know the phrase “the best defense is attack”.
So, in a situation with samoyedness, a person also attacks, however, himself. In fact, this activates the children’s psychological defense: “I’d rather (myself) punish myself before someone else does it)”.
For the most part, people who are prone to Samoyed and unhealthy self-criticism are all those children who regularly suffered from the attacks of their parents, teachers, grandparents and other personalities.
Such an individual from childhood has become accustomed that he must necessarily fit into certain standards. He is striving with all his strength towards his “ideality”, finding flaws — a terrible thing.
At the same time, it prohibits itself from making mistakes, tends to “poke its nose” at the slightest flaws for a long time.
It turns out that all the origins of the problem are rooted in childhood. It was there that a person was taught not to love himself, not to respect his body and soul, not to be able to accept his mistakes and his negative sides, not to forgive himself for his shortcomings.
As a result, the individual turns himself into the worst enemy, because he does not allow himself to be imperfect, constantly keeps himself in some limited framework.
What is fraught with such a worldview and attitude?
- Under the influence of constant samoyedness, any positive emotions are blocked. A person constantly experiences deep dissatisfaction with his life, himself and everything that happens.
- Self-stealing steals your time, depriving you of sleep and peace of mind.
- A person becomes accustomed to his “helplessness”, piously convinced that he is unable to change the situation. As a result, does not realize itself in full.
- Samoedstvo deprives common, rational thinking. A person “grows together” so much with his problem that he becomes obsessed with it on an emotional level. Because of what is not able to properly assess what is happening.
- The dislike and non-acceptance of oneself causes exactly the same reaction from other people. Indeed, will they love someone who is not capable of loving himself?
- Being subject to constant internal torments, the self-critical person becomes easy prey for manipulators. They will be able to “hook her up” without much effort.
It turns out that unhealthy criticism provokes a gradual physical, energy and psychological exhaustion. When the problem starts to get frightening scales, it’s time to look for its solution!
How to fix what is happening?
- Accept and love yourself the way you really are. Learn to accept your shortcomings, realize that you will never fit into ideal standards. All of us are unique by nature, then why do you insult the Most High by cursing your own uniqueness?
- Forgive your not perfect and your mistakes. To forgive is the first step towards changing the perception of oneself, respectively, and beginning the path to deliverance from Samoyed. When you forgive yourself — the thoughts and soul begin to get rid of the negative, the pernicious process of terrorism over itself stops.
- Learn to think in a positive context. Develop your sense of humor. Focus not on your shortcomings, but on enhancing the merits. Express your praise more often. And as soon as they began to reproach themselves, immediately express their praise. Remember your strengths, as well as actions that make you satisfied.
- Understand and accept the fact that samoedism is nothing more than a child’s defense mechanism. When you do it, you assume the position of a parent, trying to push yourself into a corner. But you are already an adult formed personality, you know how to respond to problems correctly, without negative attitudes from the past.
- Say goodbye to the emotions that arise as soon as you start samoedstvo and self-flagellation. Bad emotional experiences will become your worst enemy in solving a problem, so it’s important to be able to get rid of them.
- Change the behavior pattern. Replace criticism with a sober analysis of the situation. It is necessary to understand which of the actions were a mistake, but how to act now, if you want the situation to change.
Three questions to yourself
If you want to leave the vicious circle of throwing, use the following simple, but very effective technique «3 questions». All that is required of you is to alternately ask them yourself, and then write the answers in 3 columns on a paper sheet.
What are these questions?
- What I did (did). Write down what happened to you.
- What actions could be taken? In your thoughts, make a picture of what you want, how you could correct this situation (with words, gestures, feelings, and so on).
- What other actions can I do tomorrow? Write down on paper one or more actions necessary to remedy the situation.
This technique will be useful, as it will allow you to extract valuable lessons from the troubles that have happened to you. Plus, you can compare the real picture of what happened to your internal reaction to it.
And, most likely, it will be revealed that what happened was not such a tragedy as you painted it in your imagination.
Love yourself, accept your own faults and allow yourself to be who you really are!
And finally, watch the thematic video:
Guess today with the help of the tarot spread "Day map"!
For proper divination: focus on the subconscious and do not think about anything at least 1-2 minutes.