Midlife crisis: its causes and how to cope
Throughout our lives, we all face different crises, and this happens more than once, starting from childhood and ending in deep old age. But the most popular and most frequently mentioned is, of course, the notorious “midlife crisis”, about which only the lazy one does not speak.
How to survive a midlife crisis without harming yourself and depression? About this I will tell you today in this material.
What is a midlife crisis, its symptoms
Middle age crisis It acts as a long-term emotional state (depression), which is provoked by the fact that a person begins to overestimate his experience of middle age, when certain opportunities that were childhood and adolescent dreams have already been lost (or may seem lost). And the approaching old age is no longer perceived as something abstract, but as a very real immediate prospect.
This condition is characterized by a number of symptoms, namely:
- depressed moods;
- pity for his own person;
- a feeling of inner devastation;
- the feeling that a person is trapped;
- a sense of injustice of life.
Symptomatology is enhanced if the physical condition of a person changes: weight increases, endurance decreases, the first wrinkles appear, skin sags, demand among the opposite sex decreases.
Of the external signs of a midlife crisis are:
- a person refuses his achievements, even if they are recognized by others;
- loses interest in many areas of life that used to be very important to him;
- his reference faces change, and then he begins to give more importance to the opinion of completely outsiders than of his relatives;
- value orientations change;
- people begin to behave more freely, eccentric.
What provokes such a painful condition?
The main causes of midlife crisis
American scientists decided to find out the extent of the mid-life crisis. According to their data, only 23 percent of the subjects had his symptoms. And the majority of the population still calmly (to some extent or another) copes with this condition.
This is due to various factors, the main of which are certain personality traits.
Let’s continue to deal with the main causes of the midlife crisis in the male and female.
What triggers a midlife crisis in men?
For many representatives of the stronger sex, the onset of the age of thirty-seven to forty-one is a rather unstable period of time. Like before, things happened differently in life and there were also many ups and downs, but now the situation is becoming more cardinal — the man realizes that he has already lived half his way.
This condition is provoked by such factors.
- Deterioration of health. The overall energy balance decreases, the exacerbation of chronic pathologies occurs, plus sexual function may deteriorate. Even if there are no bad symptoms yet, anyway, the physical body gradually begins to change, which is often difficult to accept morally.
- Roles change. The children have already grown up, and someone even managed to get grandchildren, which implies an even greater responsibility than before. Not everyone has the desire to take it upon themselves.
- The man is immersed in his inner world. Begins to ask questions, how was the first half of life? Were all the actions really correct? And most importantly — where did the person end up as a result of earlier decisions and actions taken? Therefore, a lot of people on the basis of all these reflections start to get depressed if they realize that they have not done everything correctly.
Characteristic features of the midlife crisis in men
For the most part, the middle-aged crisis in the male half of the population provokes a rethinking of their own social and professional success. A man assesses how well his career was and if he could, in principle, be happy?
At the same time, people who were actively engaged in their careers but did not achieve success in it suffer the most from the crisis. Although this is far from being the only cause for frustration: the condition worsens in proportion to the accumulation of internal discontent and tension in several vital areas at once.
Argued that the crisis of forty years of the stronger sex goes on one of two scenarios:
- Feeling of a severe recession. The main reason for this scenario is a career or life in general has not met expectations. Then development of depressive states is characteristic, apathy, internal depression, which is rather difficult for a man to cope with.
- Full overestimation of life lived acts as the next version of events. In this case, a typical desire to start life anew, which implies a complete internal and external restructuring.
But still, one should not be so afraid of the mid-life crisis, because not all men suffer from it. For some of them, this period has a quite calm development, and for some, there is even a clear upturn.
They are motivated to make cardinal changes in their careers, become mentors and experts, and are ready to stay in their workplace for days, yielding to the “second wind”.
Recommendations how to deal with the problem
It is not at all necessary that the mid-life crisis be distinguished by painful symptoms. You may well be of assistance to make it easier for the period to pass.
- Take an analysis and accept your reality as it is without illusions. The ability to take your past opens up new opportunities in the future. Please note that acceptance should not be associated with recognition. You simply accept the situation that exists in the present, but what will be in the future is already your personal choice. Stop blaming yourself and going back to the past all the time. Instead, we advise you to take stock of all the successes and mistakes that were made earlier and move into the future.
- Set your own values. Take the middle-aged crisis as a chance to reassess your values. The change of the latter can occur annually and this is quite relevant to the variant of the norm At the same time, over the years, there is a decrease in personal growth and purposefulness, but instead, the importance of relationships with others, the ability to find guidance in the environment and demonstrate their own skills increases. Consider what is truly meaningful to you and how can this be translated into life?
- Find a balance! Thanks to the balancing of different areas of life, you feel complete control over the situation. Therefore, spend enough time with family, friends, relaxing, but at the same time and do not seek to spend all your energy on them.
- Watch your well-being.. If there are any ailments, it is important to immediately go to the hospital. States of frequent mood changes, depression, or aggressiveness often provoke low testosterone. Then you should sign up for a consultation with an andrologist. But in general, it is recommended to maintain the most healthy lifestyle, a balanced diet and moderate physical activity.
- Improve your relationship. It is no secret that coping with any troubles is much easier when you have the support of loved ones. In addition, communicating with others, we automatically reduce the level of stress in the body. Therefore, it is interesting to talk with your close associates, spend time together, ask for help and help each other now.
- Take care of finding new targets.. The new goal contributes to changing the focus of their attention. So, urgently stop thinking about the past, console yourself with false illusions: instead set real goals and go to reach them.
- Pay attention to your hobbies.. It may seem strange to you, but the lower our daily activities, the less energy we have. And prolonged passivity provokes mood decline and even leads to depressive states. So do not give up your hobbies, which can now give you a lot of pleasure and energy.
- Do not stop your development. As in childhood, be curious and open to the world around you. Improve your skills in significant areas of life. Give up stupid prejudices about the fact that you are “too late to do something” or that “newcomers must be young people”. Remember that your youth actually depends only on your attitude, and not on the date of birth in the passport.
Why does a middle-aged crisis develop in women?
Contrary to popular belief that this phenomenon affects only the stronger sex, women are also subject to the influence of age cycles. In this case, the fair sex crisis occurs even earlier — usually between the ages of thirty and forty years.
And his main provocateurs are:
- Changed appearance. While up to thirty years it was not necessary to take care of your appearance too seriously, from now on it becomes much more important. Many ladies even moderately downplay their age or hide it altogether. Most of all, of course, those persons who have not had time to arrange their personal lives and are passionately dreaming about a family, a child, are beginning to worry. For them, a changing appearance is perceived as a great threat to their personal happiness.
- Violations of the hormonal background, deterioration of general well-being. The body now requires a much more thorough care than it was before. It is also important to be examined regularly by doctors. There is a decrease in the energy balance in general.
- Career, personal life, changing priorities. By analogy with men, women also analyze their lives: find out if they did everything right, did they do what the soul demanded, and did they set life priorities correctly? In some cases, these reflections occur against the background of a decree or a post-secret period, when a woman is forced to start working again, to restore her career. Perhaps the development of self-doubt, fear of not having time against the background of more young colleagues.
And in principle, one fine morning, a woman can wake up and realize that she gave herself to the maximum to her family and kids, but she never managed to realize her creative or professional abilities. And these thoughts disturb her greatly.
Or, on the contrary, if all the energy went into work, then there is a feeling of oppressive loneliness.
There may be disappointments in their second half, feelings often turn into mechanical, cold, detached.
How is the middle-aged crisis in women?
For 2/3 of the fair sex is characterized by the desire to change something in their lives in the interval between thirty-seven and forty-three years. Many people want to give birth to one more baby or engage in a drastic change in the scope of their work.
Other ladies dare to perform plastic surgery, begin to hide their age, as it is difficult for them to adapt to the natural flow of time. At the age of forty-five — fifty-five years, there is a menopause. The majority of women perceive this time as the first real confrontation with the approaching aging.
There are changes in the hormonal background, which inevitably affects mood and general well-being. Susceptibility to severe feelings, depressions, irritability and anxiety is not excluded.
Of course, this period is not so hard for all female ladies. So, if a woman fully accepts herself, her body, believes in herself and feels enough love and support from her close environment, plus she also has some kind of hobby and cares for herself enough — she may not even feel that she is notorious. middle age crisis.
Useful recommendations how to overcome the crisis
- Pay enough attention to your health.. If you start to observe uncontrolled changes in mood that were not there before — this is a clear reason to visit your gynecologist and endocrinologist. The specialist will be able to choose the right therapy for you based on the tests done. Do not delay the visit to the doctor — now your body especially needs attention and care, so your task is to provide them to him.
- Important to appreciate and listen to yourself. Do not strive to become perfect — appreciate and love yourself the way you are. It is not uncommon for a representative of the weaker sex to feel her value and significance only if she serves others: her spouse, children or grandchildren. And when children (and grandchildren) have already grown up and no longer experience such an urgent need for care, then the woman has a feeling that she is not needed and devastated. This is fundamentally wrong! Remember that you yourself are of great value, without any conventions. You definitely deserve to be happy, to feel inner harmony and peace. So learn to listen and hear yourself and love yourself just for being you!
- Find hobbies. Believe me, even if the best years of your life went to study, work and raise children / grandchildren, then even at the age of 40 and 50 you can (and should) find a hobby that will give you positive emotions. Therefore, do not hesitate to go to the dance hall, yoga studio or a workshop on cross-stitch embroidery — the main thing is that you really like the hobby.
- The theme of appearance is very important, but not vital.. Stop thinking that you are just your appearance. Of course, the appearance is of great importance, but not the most important thing. It is important to devote enough care to your body and face, but not fully focus on them. After all, the more you concentrate on the subject of appearance, the farther you are from real life and the more unbalanced its other areas become.
- Engage in relationship improvement. May the people dear to your heart always know and feel it. Pay enough attention to your family circle.
- Secure your personal space. Bring all areas of your life in order, but at the same time find enough time and for yourself. Regularly go on dates with yourself — in a cafe, beauty salon or just in the park. Indulge yourself with pleasant surprises, give yourself enough care.
- Train your stress tolerance and positive thinking. In a period of midlife crisis, it is important to pay enough attention to your psycho-emotional state. Often during this period, many people experience emotional exhaustion. If this happened to you — you need to ensure a full-fledged relaxation. Also, practice your overall stress tolerance and try to remain optimistic.
At the end of the topic
- The midlife crisis is a common phenomenon in men and women in the range of 30 to 41 years.
- The cause of the crisis often becomes dissatisfaction with the life lived, unfulfilled dreams, reduced energy and fear of the approaching old age.
- You can cope with the problem, if you give yourself enough time, maintain normal health, improve relationships with your loved one and loved ones, have a hobby and look at life with a positive.
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